Oneness

Oneness 

“I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.” Khalil Gibran

As a child, I loved playing with Lego. The colored blocks could keep me busy for hours constructing different shapes and figures. I believe it instilled focus, discipline and creativity amongst others. As an adult, I see Lego as synonymous to human beings, in a limited way of course. The way Lego is made of plastic, we are made of body, emotions and intellect. We all serve a purpose in the movie playing in the world and there is always a talent within each of to add value to the world for and make the picture perfect. Alone, we are of no use; together we can create magical images.

In this world of Lego, I often wondered how do I add to the world. After years of seeking, I believe that my faith is my offering.  Faith in the knowledge of my true nature, faith in the Universal Power, faith that there is goodness in all and we are all loved unconditionally and we get what we deserve. My expression as a person arises from faith, my creativity of as a professional arises from faith, my ability to be fearless arises from faith, my ability to love arises from faith.

I always saw myself as a religious person. I believed in the existence of God and observed rituals like prayer, fasting and going to the temple. In all this, did I truly understand religion? No, I did what I observed or learnt but never questioned or analyzed. Neither did I attempt to understand the import or difference between religions. I adopted my religion as Hinduism since I was born in a Hindu family. I visited the Gurudwara, Church, Mosque to worship as well. I believed in and experienced His Existence wherever humanity gathered to pray. This simplistic faith in God gave me a foundation for life wherein I always believed in His love. My love for the Universal Power, God, The Supreme, The Creator, however undergone a tremendous shift – earlier it was based on blind love; now it is based on understanding and conviction. 

As I have read about other religions, my understanding is that all religions lead to the same Universal Truth and all religions teach the principles for happiness, peace, compassion and love. Religions are expressed and interpreted in different languages and ways and recommend different practices or rituals but they all respond to the same quest - how to express love freely and how to live a happy life.

The knowledge of any discovery or invention has always been shared through different media like drawings, writings, artifacts, dance, music etc to make life easier for the next generation. Religion too is a knowledge that is to be shared for the progress of communities. Different communities have different dialects, cultures, clothes, cuisines that bring them together and create a sense of belonging. Human beings have a basic need to belong. Religion too is a binding force at a deeper level of emotions and love.

I am not a doctorate in religious studies and neither am I a saint, however, I believe that the saints who are revered as the founders of religion could not have wanted people to distinguish and fight over religion. As an expression of their love, they showed people a path to live with love, forgiveness, courage, solidarity, compassion etc. They recognized that life could be replete with suffering unless people understood the purpose of life.

We claim to be religious and believers, yet we talk about discrimination and superiority. The moment a discrimination or sense of superiority arises in our mind, we have fallen out of love. People in their ignorance adopt translations that create divide between human beings. This is not an expression of Universal Love. No religion asks us to be either subservient or aggressive. It repeatedly tells us to do the right thing and listen to that voice within to know what is the right thing to do. The voice of Truth can be heard when we silence our plethora of thoughts and allow the voice to speak and believe in that voice within. This voice is present within each one of us and is a gift available to all of us. Religion teaches us how to access that voice and live from there. Spiritual Masters have shared their expression of love through different religions as their expression of love for humanity.

The way technology has given an access to communicate faster and live with ease. We can either get obsessed by technology and blame the father of computers or use it prudently. Similarly, we can either understand the import behind religions or sue them to create divisions in society. Religion teaches us how to live life as human beings and how to fulfill the purpose of life. It teaches us how to express our love and live together, recognizing our inter-dependencies. I cannot express my humanity without another!

“My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.” Desmond Tutu

Playing the game of life

“Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it.” Sai Baba

Life is what we make of it; nothing more, nothing less. Life is not about getting what we want; we get what we deserve. Nature takes its own time and life is full of surprises. We are responsible for making our life what it is in the present moment. We accept accolades and feel good about ourselves when we are successful to the extent we start feeling ‘how great am I’. However, when we are faced with difficulties or a failure, we look outwards and blame the world. What happens then, where does that sense of responsibility and arrogance of greatness go? How come we are unable to apply that greatness to face life?

What is it that prevents us from going deeper and harnessing that same ability to encounter difficulties and convert them into opportunities. That arrogant ignorant mind gets caught in the delusion of ‘I know it all’ and we forget to sit back and reflect. When we read the biography of any leader, there are elements of adventure, risk, fearlessness, pain, perseverance and sacrifice. They explore their boundaries and rarely stay in their comfort zone. Many people get caught in time warps about their concepts of how their world should ideally be. There is no ideal; there is no constant. To keep growing, we need to stay alert to change and be aware of our purpose of life.

“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.” Einstein

Curiosity and experimentation like a scientist, is the key to redesigning life. The way we master new information about various objects in the external world, we can also change perspectives about ourselves by shifting the subject of curiosity inwards. We view life through our lens of beliefs, memories and interpretations. Over time, our life develops a defining theme – poor me, let me be, I’m cool, I’m like that only, I’m the best, I’m no good……and we get stuck in a vicious circle. These themes are like movies with sequels. We keep producing film after film with the same characters and theme and selling it to the world with a deep desire for people to buy it not once, but repeatedly. The irony is that we sell the story repeatedly to convince ourselves that we are right to live the way we are living. While living from one wave of experience after another, we forget to ask ourselves – ‘who is the author of this script and who has the power to rewrite the script?’

In the ancient Vedic culture, a child was sent to a Gurukul for the Guru to identify the inherent unique talent, nurture the same and teach the rules of exhibiting the talent in the game of life. As the Gurukul system diminished, the joint family system came into place, wherein the elders of the family took the place of the Guru. In a world of globalization, people live in nuclear families and there is limited inter-action with elders or ability to learn from another person’s experience. The society is more focused around winning rather than nurturing and evolving and obviously no one can always win.

As a coach, I work with people to restructure their life by creating new patterns of thinking. For instance, I worked with an executive who grew up in a fragmented family environment and did not have a secure upbringing. The feeling of  ‘I’m unloved’ was deeply ingrained that every relationship was viewed from this sense of distrust. This manifested as a desperate need to stay in control due to the inability to trust, delegate, work in teams and communicate openly. Life was caught in a circle of ‘how do I prove that I am worth it’.

When our foundation is weak, we grow into confused and agitated adults and live in disappointment. In the race to win, we rarely take out time to introspect and reflect to build our sportsman spirit. It takes tremendous courage and discipline to actually apply what is learnt and follow through. Old habits dominate our behavior and any new habit or way of thinking takes time.

When we are young, we need external support and validation. As an adult we have the ability to empower ourselves and seek support when required. We also have the ability to make choices, take decisions, take actions and manage the consequences. We are no longer helpless or incapable. However, out of sheer habit, we keep seeking that external validation. We can choose to be as we wish to be as long as we are willing to face the consequences of that choice.

To become the master of our life, we need to play it like a sport. Like any game, firstly there is a need to understand our own strengths and limitations and that of the other players. Also, no sportsman plays without turn. They play from their place of strength by staying alert to such opportunities and passing over others rather than getting out when they know its beyond their capacity.

“Don't walk through life just playing football. Don't walk through life just being an athlete. Athletics will fade. Character and integrity and really making an impact on someone's life, that's the ultimate vision, that's the ultimate goal - bottom line.” Ray Lewis

Nature is designed to make us Let go

Nature is designed to make us Let go

  

Hindu philosophy recommends under the Ashram system that human life be divided into four periods. The goal of each period was the ideal fulfillment of each of the four consecutive stages of life. Brahmacharya or Student Stage;

Grihastha or Householder Stage; Vanaprastha or Hermit Stage; Sannyasa or Ascetic Stage. These stages were designed to allow a man to live a full life according to the laws of nature.

It suddenly dawned on me that every law of nature and every circumstance are designed for detachment. This is the oldest philosophical lesson and never too late to learn. Clouds come and go, the sun rises and sets, earth moves, seasons change, there is birth and death at all times.

Looking back, after the birth of a child, the ability to walk independently leads to detachment from carrying the baby, student life creates gradual detachment through education and adolescence is the start of the child learning to become responsible for one’s own physical and emotional well being. Similarly, middle age is the start of Vanaprastha stage where one needs to start learning to shift focus once again. 

To flow with these changes effortlessly, letting go is the only answer. What prevents us from letting go? There is limited awareness and focus on spiritual knowledge. We learn how to achieve, earn money, about the physical body and world of objects. There is negligible space given to another subject - how best to apply all this information to our life in the most efficient and effortless manner.

Why is there limited focus? Is that again a play of nature? We go through success and failure, joy and sorrow; and only when we are pushed against the wall, do we truly seek. Till then, we live in a deep slumber and keep fighting with ourselves. We create chaos in our life and then we look for ways to understand it or unravel it. I am amused, is that a way of feeling occupied and important?

There are rules to every sport and sharing spiritual knowledge too is another sport to be played. Like any other field of achievement or education, mastery is acquired through consistent practice and by playing with the rules. Every body of knowledge is a teaching that forms the pillars of life and spiritual knowledge is the foundation on which these pillars need to be constructed. There is limited significance given to the subject of spirituality due to ignorance, beliefs and perceptions. If we were to understand and regard spirituality as the science of thoughts and acquire knowledge like any other scientific study, our attitude towards this subject would change and so would our life.

A teacher or a coach has the ability to draw out the potential from people and help them grow into independent individuals. It’s all about serving one another.  Sports coaches work with people to become better sportsmen and life coaches work with people to live their life better.

As a coach, I use the knowledge of spirituality to be a catalyst for people to feel empowered and achieve their dreams. My dream is about seeing people feel fulfilled with their life, a cricketers dream is to inspire and entertain people, a doctors dream is to heal people and bankers dream is to make people financially empowered. I too got caught in this play and thought that I had a special gift to improve the world. Without the other gifts of knowledge that I acquired through life, I would not be able to live this life. The joke is back on me. I started with wanting to become free and I ended up getting entrapped in the sense of power of knowledge that was to free me. All I need to do is live life authentically and celebrate every moment of life.

Beauty in diversity

Beauty in Diversity

“The diversity of the phenomena of nature is so great and the treasures hidden in the heavens so rich, precisely in order that the human mind shall never be lacking in fresh nourishment.” Johannes Kepler

Walking in the garden I was marveling at nature’s miracle in creating different color flowers, leaves and butterflies. There are trees for shade and grass to lie down, gentle breeze and fragrance all around. The sound of birds chirping and rustle of leaves is calming and the smell of the mud after the first rain shower is invigorating. I can spend hours just observing, enjoying and learning from nature. The attention to detail and the level of diversity is astounding.

I am humbled just looking in awe at the possible variety that I see around. And there is so much more underwater and in other parts of the earth and universe that is beyond description.

Similarly, there is amazing diversity in human beings. Each person is different from another. Every person’s thinking, emotions, circumstances, physical attributes, skills, personality are different. Even twins may share the same physical features but are often different personalities. I am passionate about coaching because every inter-action with is unique and unpredictable.

Recently, I was asked why are people so emotional. I believe we are able to enjoy the world and learn only when there are different perspectives, passions, beliefs, desires and intelligences. Our emotions keep us engaged in the world and keep the cycle of life going through relationships. After all, we enjoy a book or a movie that has thrill, action, drama, comedy, romance or suspense. Documentaries keep us enthralled to the point of learning something new that may trigger an inspiration or address a passion.

I remember during school days, our class was shuffled regularly. We no doubt groaned about the change, however, it enabled us to learn to make new friends, stretched our ability to get along with different personalities and made us adaptable. We gravitate towards people who think alike. This limits our flexibility to stretch to communicate with people from different backgrounds.

I have been part of a group for the last few years, where the mantra is diversity. I had got so used to being around a certain type of people that I found it difficult to communicate effectively. With time, I realized that I had stopped using the power of observation and appreciation and was resisting the stretch. It has been a phenomenal experience. Now, I enjoy being with the group and have learnt to look at people from their lens. To observe, I had to remain silent and in that silence I was able to see people for their goodness, see their dreams and their humanness. As I sat back and listened, I was also able to see myself because I started learning to pause before speaking. To be understood, I first had to learn to understand.

When we interact with nature, we have to silently observe to study the behavior pattern. My family is very passionate about wildlife photography and to get a good picture they need to sit quietly for hours and be in tune with the animals. Capturing a unique or perfect photograph requires patience and the ability to be present in the moment. The play of light and the colours of trees and grass need to be balanced with the animal. One is able to do so only when there is true appreciation and joy for the beauty in diversity

Drama of Life

Drama of life       

“To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.” George Santayana

Seasons are a part of nature’s cycle and we adapt to that change by wearing cool, warm or monsoon gear. Whereas when it comes to our life, we resist change till the rubber band of tolerance is ready to snap. We entangle ourselves in our own web of emotions and then we don’t know how to extricate out of it.

I remember meeting Swami Advaitanandji some years ago, when I got cold feet just before the launch of my book and asked him that what should I do with the book. Swamiji laughed and remarked, why are you even thinking, just do what needs to be done. It sounded simplistic and obvious, yet I agonized for weeks and made life difficult for myself by meeting so many people from PR agencies, book stores, authors and everyone possible. Finally, I did what needed to be done – I sent a personalized note for all friends and colleagues with a copy of my book. The response that I received was better, with least amount of money and time spent. I knew all along that the book was a gift of nature and what was required was selfless sharing of knowledge. I created stress by resisting what was the right thing to do and thinking too much. I got sucked into desire for success, fame, recognition etc and complicated my life.

Why do we think so much? We spend so much time thinking about what’s in it for me, what will happen to me, what if…….these thoughts drain energy and cause fatigue. We refuse to give ourselves a break for even a moment to ask – what is my duty as a human being, what is the best outcome for a win-win solution? We think about worst-case scenarios, how to protect ourselves, how to stay within our comfort zone, how the world and its people are so bad. It’s an list of endless whining. What about us – are we perfect?

Hope is a great gift and curse. It keeps us going but it also slows us down when we can get stuck in wishful thinking. I am reminded of an analogy I heard as a child – a pigeon closes its eyes when it sees a cat in the hope that it will not be able to see the pigeon. Similarly, by pretending or wishful thinking, circumstances do not disappear or correct. No sportsman wins a medal without rigour and action. Life too is a sport, it has its rules, trials and tribulations. Enjoy the Sport.

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.” Maya Angelou