Self awareness to Self empowerment

Self-awareness to Self-empowerment

Rule your thoughts and change your attitude from ‘I have to do it’ to ‘I can do it’

Recently during a visit to Pondicherry, I visited the Sri Aurobindo Ashram and Matrimandir. The philosophy of the society is ‘awareness’ and the vision is ‘human unity’. The environment is very serene and surrounded by nature’s beauty. The inner sanctum of the Matrimandir is made of white marble and a large crystal is situated in the center of the hall under a skylight. Sunlight bathes the crystal and covers the hall in a warm glow of light. People are required to sit in silence and concentrate on their thoughts and get in touch with their inner light. The entire experience and concept is simple yet very powerful.

How aware are we of our thoughts?

We spend hours debating about the world economy, politics or gossiping about other people. We buy insurance policies for our assets; we painstakingly look after our homes and obsess over our children. I believe we look after all our possessions except that which possesses us – our thoughts. We allow our thoughts to rule our life rather than rule our thoughts.

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.” Anthony Robbins

The path to self-empowerment requires self-awareness –- awareness of thoughts that are redundant or of disservice in the present scenario and creating new thoughts that add value and strength. Our thoughts belong to us and we have the power within to change, control or create new thoughts or above all, even silence them. Our thoughts are our constant and only permanent companions and they shape our life more than any other education.

While coaching, the main focus is on guiding a person to discover their core thought process and recognizing the manifestation of that into various domains of life. I have observed that often one core thought or perception influences our life. If we convince ourselves that we can achieve anything, then we are able to overcome hurdles and create miracles. On the other hand, if we see ourselves as helpless and incapable, we sink deeper into the vortex of misery.

For instance, there are clients who are reluctant to take support, delegate or share because of a misplaced belief that they may lose control or another may get ahead of them. This leads to various issues such as inability to develop people, time crunch, a sense of overwhelm etc. This desire to hoard or need to be in control stems from lack of confidence to survive. People are largely not aware of their behavior or its impact. It is just a habit arising from a survival instinct and is as natural or silent as breathing -- always a part of us yet one does not even think of its existence.

There are some who are aware that they are living a pretentious life and choose not to address it in the garb of being ‘cool’ or ‘its not my problem’. Or some people who develop an arrogance of this sense of awareness and don’t even realize when their behavior becomes judgmental.

"If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far." Daniel Goleman  

Till some years ago, I was unaware of the impact of my mental conditioning. My mother always encouraged me to believe that I could achieve anything that I set my mind to and my father believed my potential was higher than my performance. I feel blessed that these two thought processes shaped my life and served me to cross several barriers and tap into my potential. However, the belief that I had to get it right was so ingrained and performance below my imaginary expectations was often not an option. I tried very hard to rise to the next challenge or challenge myself the moment I felt that life was too quiet. I have tested and pushed my limitations and have always been in a hurry to achieve the next goal.

One day I asked myself – what is my destination and where do I want to see myself. Am I already successful or not? Am I happy or not? Do I have enough or not? These thoughts were disempowering because there was no end in sight. I could see no joy in living a life of incompleteness and discontentment. I could only see fear of what if I can’t climb or how will I climb the next mountain. There is no end to goals and while chasing goals we often lose sight of life’s vision of happiness and peace. Now, if any action or expectation agitates my mind, I question myself to check whether I have to do it all, how can I do it, do I need time to build myself or do I need external help.

There comes a time, when the attitude needs to change from ‘I have to do it’ to ‘I know I can do it’. After all, we have the internal resources and we are externally supported. We need to be open and live with this awareness at all times. I can confidently say that I have created and achieved miracles by reducing the self-imposed pressure of success, goals, growth etc. These needs pop their head up time and again when I mistakenly forget to trust life and the power within to handle the cards that will be dealt to me. True joy of living is in enjoying the mystery of whatever unfolds in life. Life is perfect as it is in this moment of time. Live in the Now!